find my smile again :( 

I miss him so much, I dont know how I’m going to get through this…

My former Daddy and I are still friends, and still talking. I can tell he still cares for me alot, and that makes this whole split up a bit easier… but it still feels weird to call him anything other than Daddy, and I am still having troubles with not telling him exactly everything like I used to… I catch myself wanting to tell him naughty things, but then I have to remember “noooo you can’t be doing that now…”

Some days its easier and some days its harder… so, I figured on the easier days, when it doesnt hurt so bad, I might be able to come on tumblr. Maybe the images and stories wont hurt so much.

I’m so sorry… but, I just can’t continue this blog right now. I might be able to come back to it later, but right now it just reminds me of the man I used to call my Daddy :’( 

Thank you, to everyone who followed me, sent me messages and encouragement. 

BBC_Daddy , you will always be my tumblr bestest friend… love you buddy!

My Daddy left me this morning. ;( i’ve been crying all day. This hurts sooo bad. He says we just have bad timing because he’s got soo much stuff going on in his life :( He wants us to stay friends and try again at a later time.

I can’t help but wonder if he’s just trying not to hurt my feelings. I think he just got fed up with me. :( this hurts sooo bad.

Im away for the rest of the weekend. Going to Kansas City with family. Everyone have fun, i’ll be back Sunday night. :D

Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?

That depends on who’s asking! lol I am very open and will talk about them with anybody that I know is in the lifestyle. I will not talk about them if I don’t know  if you are in the lifestyle. I will not talk about them with my family. But, I do have a few select friends who I know are not in the lifestyle that do know quite a bit about my kinks.

Funny story actually… 

I had a Dom once that LOVED to leave bruises and welts on me (always in places that clothes can hide easily… and no worries, I am a masochist and at the time, I needed the pain)

Anyways, I was visiting a vanilla friend, who at the time, didn’t know of my kinks. I had fresh bruises and welts all over my back…. I had bent over to pick something up, and my shirt came up in the back. My friend flipped out and tried to take me to the police station. That was a very awkward conversation that we had, but in the end, she just said “well hon, whatever you feel you need… I think you’re crazy, but, I respect you enough to support you”

Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?

Easy… my Daddy! hehe

Ok, really, I want someone who loves to cuddle, someone who can make me laugh, someone who can make me blush.  I want someone who is knowledgable, fair, and patient. I want someone who knows how to push my buttons, someone who will protect me (even if I need protecting from myself). I want someone I can be silly with, someone I can have a serious conversation with. 

I have found that with my Daddy. I am the luckiest babygirl in the world!

ok, so now that I finally figured out what to write… I can get back to my 30 Days of Kink posts… I am sooo sorry that it has taken me so long. :( I feel bad about it…

Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed?  How so?

Yes, definately my interests have changed. I have a hard time believing that a persons interests don’t change with time. I believe that it takes a lot of exploration to find what you like best. 

I have been in this lifestyle for 3 years now. When I first became involved, I was interested in the Master/slave dynamic… eventually, I found out that I wasn’t suited for it. I have explored dominating another person (with little success, I am just too submissive for that). 

I’d have to say, that right now, I am immensely enjoying the dynamic I have now. It’s actually a funny story how I came to realize that I would enjoy a Daddy/babygirl relationship.

I have these friends, Tesca, and Brad… One night, we were in a group skype call, just chatting, and Tesca was giving me crap about being so cute and innocent. Turns out, Tesca and Brad were having their own conversation in Instant Messages where Tesca said something to the effect of,  ”Why wont she just admit that she’s a total babygirl! And you get that Daddy voice whenever you talk to her! You guys are so sweet!” and Brad had responded something like, “Oh I totally know what you are talking about” 
And so over the next few weeks, they kept teasing me about it, and Brad would get more and more flirty with me. He eventually sent me the link to KinkyCasey’s tumblr, and I found myself addicted to it! Literally, I spent hours looking at it and sending Brad links to posts that I could relate to.
At that point, it was hopeless for me to refuse to admit it any longer… I am a total babygirl, and Brad is my Daddy. I couldn’t be any happier <3